Category: All Day, Every Day

I hope everyone had enjoyed their holiday. I’m trying to be in a better mood but I’m guessing that I’ll be out of my funk by this weekend; when I have a few days to not look at people that irratated me. But I digress.

So my trip to Philly and Washington was cool. My mom, her Purse-holder and myself flew out of Chicago/Midway International Bus Terminal in this tiny-ass United plane to Washington Dulles. Which was scary becasue landed during the tail-end of Ernesto and the was that Washington Dulles is set up, to board and exit the plane, you have to leave the terminal and go outside. IN TO THE ELEMENTS, IN THE STORM.

After spending sometime at my Uncle’s huge house in Fairfax County, we all journeyed up to I-95 to go to my Great Aunt’s suprise birthday in Philly. The party was cool, I saw cousins, 2nd cousins that I haven’t seen in years and 3rd and 4th cousins scurring around the house playing and relatives who remember me being that quiet kid playing with the toys in the corner but I had no idea who they were.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that I’m getting OLD. My cousins are all having kids, growing up and becaming adults and I’m thinking about the action figures that will come out for the new Transformers movie. While looking at pictures of my cousin new born son, my mom said to me. “Don’t know how you’re gonna work it out, but you need to get me a grandbaby!” In the next few weeks, I’m going to be 26 years old and before people start thinking that I’m all depressed and sad about getting old, this is only a introspective. Remember my blog is a collection of random thoughts that barely form a cohesive thought. But maybe I should start looking ahead to the future and settle down.

Picture 1 | Picture 2 | Picture 3 | Picture 4

So I was going through all my stuff this weekend, just to get a sense of what I do and don’t have anymore. Doing so, I came across an old backed up files CD I made before I switched to Mac. I smiled at I went through the contents but I was sadden as well. I had dozens and dozens of self-pictures before my accident, before the weight gain, before I left Purdue. I looked at myself and realized that I’m not the same person I was in those pictures and no matter what I do, he isn’t coming back.

My mother and I have a cool relationship where we’re pretty open with our lives. Sometimes my mom can be alittle too open as in the conversation we had at this diner this past Mother’s Day.

Mom: So you know I almost moved to Las Vegas?
Me: Why? What happened?
Mom: Carl got on my nerves last week, (Carl is her fiance, some nerdly looking white guy) We got into an arguement about how slavery still went on in the South after 1863. He said something stupid like “Black people were freed by Lincoln if they stayed slaves they’re dumb”
Me: So what happened after you knocked the shit outta him?
Mom: Oh, I didn’t hit him. I just called him an idiot, told him to look up Juneteenth and he said can’t have any pussy for awhile.
Me: Aw gross, I don’t you see me eating over here?

So I went to the dentist last night after work, while I had invision some kind of Marathon Man scenerio but the torture would be delayed both physically and monetarily. After filling out some insurance paperwork and sat in a chair where they pointed some machine at me that probably reduced my sperm count, my dentist gave the bad news; he’s doesn’t want to pull my broken tooth. While there’s obvisious not enough tooth left to do a filling, I have to get a root canal and some type of ‘build up’ and peg installation so I can get a crown. While every queen dreams of getting a crown, this was not what I had in mind and my dental insurance doesn’t cover crown since its consider to be comestic. But there’s more, I have to get a second crown on the outside side of my mouth and have all my wisdom teeth removed.

After been hit with the ‘Shock & Awe‘ of my impending service costs, the sent on my way with a few dozen referrals and a fake smile with an even faker ‘Goodbye.’ And the bastards didn’t give me anything for the pain, Effin’ Bees. I think I need to become an anti-dentite.

In about 30 to 45 days from today I will be a homeowner, and for some reason I’m not as excited as I think I should. In the next month I will be a 25 year old black man, who’ll have a steady paying job ($50,000 gross a year), with his own house and car and very independent but yet I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished that much. Are my standards set too high?

(BTW the sitaution with my Aunt work itself out.)

I need to do something, what I really don’t know. I’ve gone through a lot of changes the last couple of months, good and bad and there are still more changes to come. I’m moving within the month, I’m going to South Carolina in May & Florida in July and now I’m recently single. (I know I’ve been very ‘hush-hush’ about the last, might as well continue that trend.)

I need to commemorate all this. A physical representation that I’m not the same man i was before. I’ve been thinking of a few things, but ultimately my impulsive spontaneous side will act out. So lets see if I’ll do something stupid.

… But should I trust them with my teeth? Yesterday as I sat in a drugged & dazed decadence at work, I buckled in, and made call to a dentist office. Now that I have some coverage through work I don’t have to sit around and cycle through alternating periods of sufferage and pill-popping. So I looked through the fine details of my dental plan and saw that I most of the dentist in my area that accepted my plan all had the same contact number. I dialed the number and I get Sears. Now as much as I like good ol’ Sears, Roebuck & Company and know that they’re the place to be if you need a new lawnmower or refridgerator but I’m not entirely sure about letting them stick things in my mouth. Anyway, my appointment is set for Monday, May 1st.

So I’ve made a decision… I’m moving. Whenever my lease is up, either in June or July, I plan on moving back home. Well actually I’ll be taking over my mother’s house, which is something that I’ve been debating for the last year.

Back in the summer of 2004, when I moved old my mom followed suit and and left the house a month after I did. At first she rented the house to this young white family after serveral months of having the house on the market. The white family left the house in bad shape. The neighbors complained about their dogs which tore up the back I spent years grooming and mowing. They left large and unexplained holes in the walls and everything had a dingy color to it. Shortly there after my aunt had moved into the house with my mom’s blessing. And it wasn’t long that my aunt had some difficulties paying the mortgage, paying the utilities and maintaining the house. The power was turned off several times throughout the year and the lawns were overgrown with weeds.

Which brings us back to the present, I have several plans of what to do with the house since there’s about 20+ years left on the mortgage. None of those plans can be done if I have to worry about someone else in my space. I need to re-evaluate this shit pronto.

Well I didn’t mean for the last entry to sound like a cry for help… really I didn’t. I’ve been so busy as of late with work, my pledges and all my side projects. Things have been passed me by, days are blending together, people and responsibilities are been neglected and I need to officially apologize for that.

To those who I said I would call but haven’t, I’m sorry. To those whose web pages I said I was work on and haven’t even started, I’m sorry. And to that muh fucka downstairs from me who I promised an ass whoopin’, I’m sorry. I haven’t forgotten about you. You still got an appointment with a size 12 and a half boot with your ass.

On a positive note, I recently got a new Greek crossing jacket from Stuff 4 Greeks and its HOT. I’ll post a picture of it during my lunch break.

If you wants things in your life, you need to be able to change.

As much as I believe in that I still find it very difficult to change old habits or make a genuine lifestyle change. This year I decided to eat better, and live healthier. Those are very realistic and obtainable goals unlike trying to get washboard abs by the Summer Conclave. So as hard as I move towards doing the right thing like cutting back on red meat, sugar, soda and Sickie Deez and paying my gym membership at Quads for the year, I still find myself with a can of Mountain Dew on my work desk, a couple of McChicken wrappers in the waste basket and my Quads membership card collecting dust. Am I doomed to be somebody’s DUFF at the club, the designated ugly fat friend? Maybe as much as I want to look and feel good, I probably don’t deserve it and my sub-conscious knows this.