You know what, fruit cake isn’t all that bad, or maybe that’s the Absolut talking. I hope everyone and theirs has a great holiday season. Be safe, have fun and don’t do any shit I wouldn’t do.

I’d planned on going into the details of my Atlanta trip later this weekend but I had to say something about 16+ hour bus ride that my frat brothers and myself had to endure. To even use the word Hell would be a understatement. It’s more like going through torture, sitting in a small box with sweaty fat man farting and weezing on you while you’re trying to sleep. And once you actually manage to drift off to sleep, somebody is flicking the lights on and off. Everything is rattling, and theres a constant draft, blowing on your neck and did I mention the sweat fat man, farting and weezing on me? Needless to say, if I ever go anywhere in the near future, I will be flying.

Are suppositories suppose to be bright orange?

Well there was a lot of stuff I wanted to get done this week, one most definitely being a new video cast but with this cold severely kicking my ass, trying to convey something while hacking, sniffling and sneezing wouldn’t be cute, and I got to preserve my sexy. Maybe I should get the video cast done, because I do have some things to share and confess that will definitely “crack the Internet” or maybe I’m just exaggerating again.

Now excuse me, because I gotta go take this horse pill.

I think I’m about a cheeseburger away from blowing up and looking like the Blob. Since high school I’ve been walking this very fine line between average size and fat and now I’m just fat. Yes, there is some muscle definition, especially in my shoulders and a little in my chest. If you didn’t know people will treat you different if you look good, have a svelte body and a nice face and I guess I’m tired of looking from under the bell glass, its about time that I start going back to the gym.

I have a few choices in terms of facilities; Bally Total Fitness, World Gym, Purdue Calumet Fitness Center and Quads Gym. Overall Quads Gym seems to have the most promise, and since I’ve been to all the other other gyms list. Bally is too expensive and too corporate. I rather work out for me and not The Man. World Gym is cool mostly for being open 24 hours during the week but its contract only and you make payments via a payment book, like a car note. And the gym at school is okay and for $18 a semester seems really great but I get this overwhelming sense of dread going there. Maybe its the dim lights or the large amount of geriatric patrons and the liver spotted dangles in the locker room. So today after work, I’m going to go check out Quads.

Well I finally did it. I finish paying off that that high ass cable from that was the result of the robbery and the stolen cable box/DVR. So last night I gave a quick call to my provider Wide Open West (WOW Cable), upped my Internet speed to 6Mbps and ordered another DVR box which should be here by Monday afternoon. I feel so happy… I could almost cry.

I recently got new neighbors in the apartment downstairs, underneath me. Its some portly white or Latina definitely a non-Negro female, her unattractive black man-friend and a cat. I don’t think they’ve been here a full 31 days and I can’t stand these fuckers.

It irks me so badly that I’m breaking out in a rash or something or it could be that flea-ridden cat they have. First she has been taking my parking space, even though my name may not be on it but everybody and they’re blind, retarded grandmother knows that ‘Tony parks his piece of shit HERE.’ Not only has she been parking in my spot but her and he ugly man smoke weed, not only are they smoking weed but it’s the nastiest and foulest smelling shit ever and its seeps into my apartment through the floors and vents. I came home one night caught a whiff of it, immediately got a headache and almost passed the fuck out.

Even with all of that, what really gets me going is the fact that they are SO FUCKING LOUD. All the apartments are double insulated just for sound, but they way these fuckers carry on, it sounds like they’re right next to you. I hear their TV over mines, I hear ol’ boy taking a shit, I hear every fucking thing they do because they’re so loud so you know I hear them fucking. Dude moans and grunts so loud, you’d think he was getting dicked and it’s all the time. I’m in bed early for work and they’re fucking, I come home for lunch in the middle of the day they’re fucking. With all this noise these people make you know they had the balls to yell some shit about me closing my dresser drawers this morning while I was getting ready for work.

See they’re gonna make me do some shit like I did to that Nut sack with the CB radio.

…I enjoy every second of it.

Short story, I was driving to Oak Brook Illinois to take my sick Mac mini to the Apple store and at 2 o’clock in the afternoon. My mac crapped out on my last night and would wake up from the screen saver. While I had my powerbook, I become so accustomed to my mini. After getting little help over the phone with Apple support, I jump in the car and sit in gridlock on Interstate 294. Essentially the combination of heat, no AC, stagnate traffic, a broken computer and a piece of ass that wouldn’t go away (long story for another day) had made me a very irritable, asshole.

Before I go further, I would like to say to the bald headed owner of a Ford F-150 and Illinois license plates “SIMONJR,” I’m going to find you and do evil shit to you and your family.

Anyway, I’m zooming up I-294, to get to the mall so I could see if there’s any chance to save my baby. But each time I make some leeway, so prick jumps in front of me just to brake. I think I need to a gun or something.

By the way, the issue with my mac was a quick fix, either when my mini was built or maybe from the robbery, the memory module came loose and eventually came out. All they did was pop it back in and tested to see if it came on.